Today I saw one of my favorite “South Park” episodes on German TV (comedycentral) again. Here’s the definition of goth people by the South Park goth kids:
Original rant in English:
Fellow students. Over the past week there’s been a lot of confusion and so we have asked for this assembly to clarify the differences between goth kids and vampire kids. Let us make it abundantly clear: If you hate life, truly hate the sun, and need to smoke and drink coffee, you are goth. If, however, you like dressing in black ’cause it’s fun, enjoy putting on sparkles and following the occult while avoiding things that are bad for you, then you are most likely a douchebag vampire-wannabee boner. Because anybody who thinks they are actually a vampire is freaking retarded.
The goth kids,
“South Park”, “The Ungroundable”, season 12, episode 14.
In German:
Liebe Mitschüler. In den vergangenen Wochen gab es viele Mißverständnisse. Deshalb haben wir dieses Treffen einberufen, um den Unterschied zwischen Goth-Kindern und Vampir-Kindern klarzustellen. Lasst uns ein für alle Mal klarstellen: Wenn ihr das Leben hasst, aus tiefstem Herzen die Sonne verabscheut, raucht und Kaffee trinkt, dann seid ihr Goth. Wenn es euch hingegen Spaß macht, euch schwarz anzuziehen, Glitzer auf eure Wangen zu kleben und euch dem Okkulten hinzugeben, während ihr gleichzeitig alles vermeidet, was der Gesundheit schadet, dann seid ihr mit höchster Wahrscheinlichkeit dumme Vampir-Möchtegern-Pisser. Denn jeder, der ernsthaft der Meinung ist, ein echter Vampir zu sein, ist total verblödet.
Die Goth-Kinder,
“South Park”, “Butters im Bann der Dämonen”,Season 12, Episode 14.
Well, then I’m not goth at all. I don’t smoke and I fucking hate coffee. 
But I agree with the goth kids anyway. The entire episode is a spoof of the “Twilight” series and its fans and was aired few days before the premiere of the movie. I have seen some documentations on the vampire (and werewolf) hype in US schools years ago… *facepalm*
In my youth, vampires used to be cool, did not sparkle in sunlight but turned to dust.
